February 28, 2026 19:43
I played the demo of The Eternal Life of Goldman - it seems that what I saw diverged too much from my expectations
But I expected some kind of middle ground between Indiana Jones and DuckTales - that was the impression I got from the visual style and the materials I had seen before.And they are here!And a little bit of “Black Cloak” with “Dandy”, and other genre pretense up to Hollow Knight, which the developers clearly don’t care about.
There are almost no questions about the technical side of The Eternal Life of Goldman; the work is outstanding.The art and stop-motion animation are magical.An explosion of color and quirky designs.It’s impossible to describe how detailed and alive the locations are.True, sometimes this makes it too “noisy” - it interferes with jumping in difficult tests.And so the platforming is clear and hardcore in moderation, albeit with a reserve for a burning ass.It always plays well.
But the developers couldn’t make just a bright adventure that paid tribute to the favorite platformers of our childhood.Not serious.Everyone wants to make statements to carve into eternity and current trends.Therefore, as far as I understand, everything that happens on the screen is actually an impromptu story that a mother tells to her very sick son in the hospital.To distract him from the nasty side effects of strong drugs.To make it difficult and adult-like—even Sony can’t do that.
Along the way, mother and child sometimes have background dialogues.Sometimes, through an expected but effective narrative device, they lead to sudden turns in gameplay and create events.And sometimes it's just chatter, for example, about what sterilization is.The mother cannot find words to explain such an adult term, but the child does: “Is this when they don’t want children so as not to spoil their lives?Remember, you told me once...”And some kind of awkward bitter quarrel begins, everyday depressive nonsense with a gloomy backdrop.And you sit with the gamepad in even greater awkwardness.It’s as if you came to visit a friend in Sega to play, and his mother began to harshly reprimand you for something in front of you.
And in the game, quite suddenly for me, there is too much cynical and sometimes very graphic cruelty - especially for some reason towards animals.Here everyone regularly suffers, suffers, groans in pain and dies - and we often participate.It all even begins at a children's fireworks party, where something went wrong and everything burned down - along with the children.Sides and dialogues - and there are, in principle, a lot of dialogues in The Eternal Life of Goldman - are also about all this: about funerals, about the severity of guilt for such an incident... Well, I don’t know, guys, I don’t know.But not agusha gaming.
As a result, I closed the game with a very strange, darkly uncomfortable feeling and frowning eyebrows.It's like I've played some Hatred game.The emotion is caused, but do I need one?Would the effect be different if I knew in advance what awaited me?Maybe I just wouldn't try.I understand that the opinion is hardly a popular one, and wonderful people work at Weappy, some of whom I even know, but that’s just how I feel.And it’s drawn very beautifully. #game
But I expected some kind of middle ground between Indiana Jones and DuckTales - that was the impression I got from the visual style and the materials I had seen before.And they are here!And a little bit of “Black Cloak” with “Dandy”, and other genre pretense up to Hollow Knight, which the developers clearly don’t care about.
There are almost no questions about the technical side of The Eternal Life of Goldman; the work is outstanding.The art and stop-motion animation are magical.An explosion of color and quirky designs.It’s impossible to describe how detailed and alive the locations are.True, sometimes this makes it too “noisy” - it interferes with jumping in difficult tests.And so the platforming is clear and hardcore in moderation, albeit with a reserve for a burning ass.It always plays well.
But the developers couldn’t make just a bright adventure that paid tribute to the favorite platformers of our childhood.Not serious.Everyone wants to make statements to carve into eternity and current trends.Therefore, as far as I understand, everything that happens on the screen is actually an impromptu story that a mother tells to her very sick son in the hospital.To distract him from the nasty side effects of strong drugs.To make it difficult and adult-like—even Sony can’t do that.
Along the way, mother and child sometimes have background dialogues.Sometimes, through an expected but effective narrative device, they lead to sudden turns in gameplay and create events.And sometimes it's just chatter, for example, about what sterilization is.The mother cannot find words to explain such an adult term, but the child does: “Is this when they don’t want children so as not to spoil their lives?Remember, you told me once...”And some kind of awkward bitter quarrel begins, everyday depressive nonsense with a gloomy backdrop.And you sit with the gamepad in even greater awkwardness.It’s as if you came to visit a friend in Sega to play, and his mother began to harshly reprimand you for something in front of you.
And in the game, quite suddenly for me, there is too much cynical and sometimes very graphic cruelty - especially for some reason towards animals.Here everyone regularly suffers, suffers, groans in pain and dies - and we often participate.It all even begins at a children's fireworks party, where something went wrong and everything burned down - along with the children.Sides and dialogues - and there are, in principle, a lot of dialogues in The Eternal Life of Goldman - are also about all this: about funerals, about the severity of guilt for such an incident... Well, I don’t know, guys, I don’t know.But not agusha gaming.
As a result, I closed the game with a very strange, darkly uncomfortable feeling and frowning eyebrows.It's like I've played some Hatred game.The emotion is caused, but do I need one?Would the effect be different if I knew in advance what awaited me?Maybe I just wouldn't try.I understand that the opinion is hardly a popular one, and wonderful people work at Weappy, some of whom I even know, but that’s just how I feel.And it’s drawn very beautifully. #game
